Minivan Crime Does Not Pay

I don't believe in the death penalty.

I don't believe in the corporal punishment.

I don't believe in the sending kids to sit on "the wall" during recess for crimes they very well could be falsely accused of. (Like pulling Stephanie Malm's hair when in fact you did not pull Stephanie Malm's hair because you were too busy rolling down a small hill to get anywhere near Stephanie Malm.)

I DO believe in the karma.

The karma is a mysterious lady. She wears baggy cloths even though she could probably wear something a little tighter and look pretty okay. She has long bangs so you never know whether her eyes are open or closed (or half open and half closed like Benicio Del Toro's eyes in "The Usual Suspects"). She carries a fanny pack around her waist so you are forced to constantly wonder what she could have in there and why she would continue to wear a fanny pack in these fiercely anti-fanny pack times. Also she slurs her words (like Benecio Del Torro in "The Usual Suspects). In fact the karma could very well be Benicio Del Toro in a long wig, baggy cloths and a fanny pack. If this was true, if Benicio Del Toro was in fact the karma in disguise it would NOT clear the fog that constantly surrounds the karma. It would, however, add another layer to the karma's increasingly bulky mystery.

And the karma is exactly what a few (I hate to use such strong language but I am forced to) "hooligans" in Atlanta, Georgia met a few days ago. You see what happened was that they stole a minivan, a white minivan. But I feel that I can't do this story justice. I could tell you what happened but it just wouldn't pop and sizzle with the appropriate pizazz that it is due. This is a story so full of intrigue and drama that only an excellent, experienced, dedicated local news team can deliver. So let me allow the number one local news team in Atlanta, WSBTV, fill you in with all of the juicy details as only they can.

Let this be a lesson to all of you thieves out there OR all of you potential thieves. Thieves (and potential thieves) when you are walking down the street considering different objects to steal think twice when your eyes land on that minivan (or that one or that one over there next to that ice cream truck). Know this: no matter your driving skills you will end up loosing control of the minivan and crashing into a power substation. It does not matter if you were a member of the Nascar Craftsman Truck Series during the 2002 and 2005 seasons or if you have just recently memorized the Smith Systems' five keys to safe driving this will happen to you. Just something to keep in mind. Minivan crime does not pay. Unless you consider crashing into a power substation as paying. But you'd have to be really out there to think that. Like out there enough to, I don't know, still be wearing a fanny pack. Just something to think about.