Happy Holidays Up In This Mug

Happy Holidays all up in here.

I've been peacin' out for a while. And don't get all up on my back either cause I had shit to do. You knows that the holiday season is the busiest of all the damn seasons. Damn. I had to snap up all them presents. I had to watch up all them Christmas specials (Charlie Brown is my BOY yo and don’t EVEN get me started about Burl Ives). I had to eat up all them Christmas cookies (Meringues in the house!) I had to attend all them holiday parties (You know how I do with my killer small talk). I had to spend them quality times with friends and loved ones to share in the joy and wonder of the holidays. Damn.

I'm sure ya'll been checkin' up on the page like a buncha little kiddies all pumped up to top notch level with pre-Christmas excitement checkin' up on the chimney hole to make sure they don't miss that big ol jolly fat man. Yeeeah. Well. Guess who just busted open tha front door on ya'lls inter-web with a swift kick from his fly-ass size 9 1/2 Keen's??!? Yeeeeeah. You know who is back! Funky ass Mr. Ten Reasons To Buy A Minivan. I'm bustin' up into here with a dope green and red reindeer sweater and a big fat mother-humpin' mistletoe necklace. I'm full up to
burstin' with holiday AND minivan spirit. And I gots so many gifts for ya'll that ya'll had better rest ya'll's gift wrap opening hand. I gots much letters to answer. I gots much surveys to drop on ya'll. And Ya'll gotta help me in the good fight against all those minivan hatters out there (We your number Peyton Manning and we coming for ya). Not to mention we gots to get all up in the Ten Reasons to Buy a Minivan. Shit I gots bags and bags full of funky ass reasons that we ain't even rapped about yet. What what. And don't EVEN get me started about how we bouts to flip the page on another calender year. I'm gonna get stupid fresh up in 2008. I'm about to brush my shoulders off and take this minivan thing to a whole other level. 2008 Year of the RAT? Nah. Nah. 2008 Year of the MINIVAN.

Word.

A Tree Falling in a Forest

I want to thank my friend Down Stage David Schrader (or DSDS for short) for bringing this cartoon to my attention.



I know exactly how "Rat" feels. The Internet is presently a mess. It's like the BQE at rush hour only with less pot holes and more vaginas. It's full of people spouting off about this or that. It's full of people scribbling paragraph after paragraph about topics that barely deserve a mumbling, sputtering late night drunken conversation. It really makes me feel like a tree falling in a forest full of other trees falling. You know that saying: If a bunch of trees fall in a forest and no one is there can anyone hear the tree falling that is actually worth listening to? It's sad and it makes it hard to go on. It makes me feel like no one is hearing my meek voice through the blurry bluster of the idiot winds. But like "Goat" I will go on. I will clear my throat and turn my voice from meek to mighty. I will struggle to be heard fully aware that people not only WANT to know the ten reasons but NEED the ten reasons. I will not have my head covered with the coffee cup of ignorance! I will not have my voice silenced by the coffee cup of indifference. I will take that cup off my head because I NEED to be there for THE people. I NEED to be there for YOU!