Ask Mr. TenReasonsToBuyAMinivan!

Do the Ten Reasons to Buy a Minivan confuse you?

Do you have questions about minivans but don't know where to look for answers?

Have you stopped returning phone calls, drawn the shades and climbed into bed due to your anxiety over the lack of answers to your numerous questions about the all of your various Minivan related questions?

Well jump out of bed . . put on some pants . . . throw open the shades . . . pick up the phone and start calling your loved ones! I'm here to help thanks to my new segment: ASK MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN!

You can now ask MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN!

Ask him what you ask?

Well THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!

(example)

Dear Mr. Ten Reasons To Buy a Minivan,
I want to email you to ask you a question but I just don't know what to ask.

Thanks,
Confused in New Haven

Dear Confused in New Haven,
Thanks for your letter. You could email to ask a question about one of the Ten Reasons to Buy a Minivan. Or, if you don't have a question about one the Ten Reasons you could email to ask about a question that you have about minivans in general (or in specific if it's a specific question). You could also email to tell me about some awesome Minivan related thing you saw on the World Wide Web or the TV.

Yours,
MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN

Dear Mr. Ten Reasons To Buy a Minivan,
If I emailed you to tell you about some awesome Minivan related thing I saw on the World Wide Web or the TV wouldn't that be more like TELL MR. TENREASONSTOBUYAMINIVAN?

Yours,
Confused in New Haven

Dear Confused in New Haven
Thanks for your second letter. You're right.

Yours,
MR. TENREASONSTOBUYAMINIVAN

Dear Mr. Ten Reasons to Buy a Minivan,
So . . . should I still email you to TELL you something about minivans even though the segment is actually called ASK MR. TENREASONSTOBUYAMINIVAN?

Thanks,
Confused in New Haven

Dear Confused in New Haven,
Thanks for your third letter. Yes but if it makes you feel better you can put it in the form of a question.
(For example:
Dear Mr. Ten Reasons to But a Minivan,
Have you seen THIS video on the Internet?
Thanks, Confused in New Haven)
To which I would respond:
(Dear Confused in New Haven
Thanks for your fourth letter. I hadn't seen that video. But now that I have seen it I am going to write a post on it. I will give you full credit for finding that video by publishing your email along with my post.

Thanks,
MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN!)


(Another example)


Dear MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN,

My boyfriend of three and a half years refuses to put the knives in the knives part of the silverware drawer. Instead he insists on putting them with the forks. When we first started dating he always sorted the forks and knives correctly. But recently he has made a point of putting the knives with the forks. When I asked him to stop doing this and sort them like a normal human being he told me that he would not. Since that point he has been even more haughty about what I have delicately been calling, "The situation". He has even composed a song about his behavior. Here's a sample lyric: "I'll put the knives anywhere I damn well please. I'll put the knives anywhere I damn well please. And I want to put them with the foooooooooorks. The knives loooooovvvve chillin' with the foooorkkks. They looooove chillin' with the forks. With the forks." It's a pretty little tune but it's not his song I have a problem with it's his behavior. What should I do? Otherwise he's a sweet sweet man with a great personality (and is no slouch in the bedroom btw. He can sexually satisfy me till the cows come home.). I need help your help MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN!

Thanks,
Problems in the silverware drawer but not in the bedroom everything is fine in the bedroom in Atlanta

Dear Problems in the silverware drawer but not in the bedroom everything is fine in the bedroom in Atlanta,

Thanks for you letter. Five things: 1) Who are you to say what is the "Correct" way to organize your silverware drawer? What a closed minded thing to say and think! Honestly. 2) A relationship is a like a lighthouse. 3) A relationship is also like the Liberty Bell. 4) I've also just remembered that a relationship is like popping corn. 5) Though I've enjoyed answering your question it didn't have anything to with minivans which defeats the purpose of the entire segment: Ask MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN! Next time you write please limit your questions about your relationship to minivan related issues.

Yours,
MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN!

To sum everything up:

Dear everyone,
Please email me at TENREASONSTOBUYAMINIVAN@GMAIL.COM with your Minivan related questions. Can't wait to hear from you.

Yours,
MR. TENREAONSTOBUYAMINIVAN!